A millennial living in the Instagram world, each milestone in my adult life has been documented with an artsy filter and catchy caption. I had the dream wedding, went on perfect vacations, caught the most magnificent sunsets. The expected lifestyle of a married, educated, 20-something person living in America captured in perfect little squares for all her friends to heart. It's the same perfection I envisioned in sharing the arrival of my first-born child with the world. I still love Instagram, but man...have I been humbled.

A perfectly imperfect moment captured by m.roberts photography

Walter ice skating at the Galleria 😀

Still, our situation is less than ideal. What I would give some nights to be back in my actual bed. My eyes water and my heart throbs every time we get sent a picture of our dog back home, staying with relatives (whom we can never repay). The letters we receive on a daily basis have the same effect. I've never known what it really means to feel homesick until now. I can recall awkwardly trying to comfort a friend at cheer camp or freshman year at college. Those few individuals who physically hurt because of it. I now understand that feeling. I know how bad it hurts to yearn for the comforts of home. To miss my dog, my bed, my students and co-workers, my friends and family.

39-weeks pregnant

At Centennial Gardens

The past few months have felt like a marathon. Now I'm on the last leg of this busy, at times stressful, beautiful journey. I've bounced back from finding out terrible news and feeling more optimistic than ever. Currently, I'm soaking in this sight...my first baby, Django, smothering my sofa in fur, having sweet puppy dreams on my throw pillows. My husband, meanwhile, mouthing every word of Forest Gump. This is our last night at home for quite some time. Bittersweet for sure. We're one step closer to meeting our baby and giving him the best medical care in the world. Yet we leave behind our dog, our comfy house, our patio with the best sunset views, our bed, our adorable baby room, our jobs, our families, our awesome friends, our world. And to add to the rollercoaster of emotions I'm feeling, I just got an email with most precious photos of my little family at our beloved little home.

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I can't wait to get back here. This morning I pulled out from our caliche drive extra slow so I could take a mental picture. While I'm going to miss this cozy space of ours, nothing can take my sights off of Houston. We're finally going to be there tomorrow and we're not leaving till we've got a healthy baby boy on our hands! To be honest, it's been nerve wrecking waiting till the 36 week mark to relocate. But every week I've checked off another ultrasound and another non-stress test. I've checked off another week of teaching, grades and a pep-rally. I've checked off another trip to Lubbock and Texas Tech football game. I've taken it day by day. Step by step (mostly waddle by waddle). It's safe to say I had some great distractions to keep my mind off of worrying.

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Besides all of the usual shenanigans that go on at school, my work family has really gone out of its way to spoil me lately. I've been showered with everything from a travel crib, to baby books, toys, clothes and even little surprises for me. They've fed me, loved on me, helped me pack. They've made me laugh and offered endless words of advice and encouragement. My fellow teachers, along with our principal, the school staff, and students have been my most loyal supporters.

Some of my work family making a surprise appearance at my baby shower in Stratford, TX

Now speaking of being showered...boy has our little W.A.S. been spoiled! We were thrown a beautiful baby shower in the home of my friend, Tracy. He received more supplies than I know what to do with! Our guy is set. On top of it all, I had several family members and friends surprise me and travel from long distances to be there for the special occasion. Guests took the time to write us special notes of encouragement and prayer. I'm so thankful for this day and the community that we live in.

Tracy and me at my shower

One week later, our dear friends in Lubbock threw us a party leading up to the Texas Tech vs. UT football game. Walter and I got to enjoy a night of catching up with some of our favorite couples and friends in the world. Naturally, our baby boy was spoiled with even more beautiful gifts. The best part of it all was just getting to visit though. Many of our friends have started families of their own. We're all so busy and seldom find the time to travel and see each other. We had time to sit back, visit, laugh, eat, and appreciate the moment. It was a much needed reunion!

Personalized treats at our shower in Lubbock, TX

It's been one heck of a run but the race isn't over yet. Now I plan on pacing myself and hopefully cruising past the finish line with as little stress as possible in a few weeks. Our plans in Houston include settling into our apartment, hitting up the zoo and a couple museums, going to the doctor several times a week, and hopefully making just as many visits to Target and the Galleria. I won't mind sleeping in a little bit and camping out on the couch either! I should also mention that the fun isn't over for our closest loved ones. They'll be visiting through the holidays to keep us entertained and help out when baby comes. We can't thank them enough!

William Agustin's Nursery

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This time of year also means added patience and sacrifice for our household. I'm starting to think about all that I need to do as we prepare to relocate to Houston for a baby's arrival. Meanwhile, Walter is working day and night to harvest our livelihood. For those not in the "ag-loop" (ahh, I remember those days), farmers like my husband spend weeks, sometimes months, harvesting their year's work. The window for planting crops, caring for them as they grow, and then getting them out of the ground is extremely narrow. That's what makes this time of year so crucial. Nearly every meal he eats comes in hand-held form. It's scarfed down while he rides down a bumpy corn field. He gets home dirty and exhausted. We see each other for only minutes each day. It isn't an ideal situation for any wife at 32 weeks pregnant. Yet it's a worthwhile trade-off. This life offers breaks at other important times of the year and centers around the fading small town lifestyle, we feel, is ideal for raising a family.

The farm should slow down by the time our little guy is set to arrive. But leaving work behind is going to be extremely difficult for the both of us. I've been thinking about my students more lately, the impact they've made on my life. I've started to realize how much of my ability to cope has come from them. My son's heart defect was diagnosed a week before school started. I wondered how I would make it through each day. I feared bursting into tears as I attempted to teach my classes. It seemed like terrible timing. Then school started and things were fine! Who would've thought? The remedy to heart-breaking news...teenagers! They keep me on my toes. They make me laugh. My energies shift to them, their needs, their lives. And they're not just teenagers. They're sympathetic, kind human beings when they want to be. They even put together this beautiful prayer jar full of sincere wishes for our little family...


I'm truly going to miss my students during my time off this school year. It's all going to be a very big change living in Houston. How long? We still don't know, and we will not know. Not even the best surgeons in the world can predict the outcomes of heart surgery on a newborn baby. Just as we have been, we need to take things day by day.

A lot of you have been wanting to know more information or what exactly is wrong with our little guy's heart. The reason I've been holding back is because technical, scary terms don't really matter. They only matter to the medical team that will be treating his defects. Yes, defects. There are multiple problems with his heart. This is usually the case when it comes to serious heart malformation. When one thing goes wrong...other things can follow suit. Plus, it's worth mentioning that we've had many different diagnosis over the past few months. What we do know 100 percent is that our child's heart will not function properly when he's born. Surgery is a matter of life or death for our baby. Less important details can be discussed later.

This journey has started to make me think about my old job. A former health reporter, I knew a little bit about heart defects from stories I'd done. And despite my experiences, I'm embarrassed to say, I was still fairly clueless. I thought...you know...that something weird must've caused them. Oh, the mother must've been on some kind of medication. Oh, it must run in the family. Etc. These things do happen but are usually not the case. I haven't had as much as a baby Tylenol for the past 7 months! And Walter and I have no close family members with known heart defects! This is what makes this situation ultra sobering. We are merely a statistic. We've listened to five different doctors and a genetic counselor tell us, "this is just a random event." It's an explanation that's been given to countless other families before us. We won a really messed up version of the lottery. And though cases as severe as our son's are extremely rare, heart defects in general really aren't. They happen to 1 in 100 babies! Knowing this stat wouldn't have changed anything, but it could've helped us to more quickly accept that we aren't freaks. We didn't do anything wrong and there's no sense in continuing to question our circumstance. It's just something that happens.

Sooooo before I sign off, I gotta get to the good stuff...we've FINALLY chosen a name for our little heart warrior. Drum roll, pleaseeee!


So there you have it, a solid update! As always, pray for us and our little "Augie." Can we make that work? Pray for our transition as we prepare to relocate to Houston in November. Pray for his birth and that it pose limited complications. Pray for his medical team and the surgeons who will be mending his sweet little heart. Pray for his parents, that we continue to be strong and hopeful every step of the way! Thanks for reading as always. -Nicole

It was all so surreal. Walter and I gazed out the window of a 20th floor conference room awaiting one of the surgeons who could potentially be operating on our brand new baby in a few months. I thought to myself--What on earth are we doing here? We weren't supposed to be waiting for our third appointment that day...watching a massive crane make add-ons to an already gigantic hospital in Houston. We weren't supposed to be planning on spending an unusually large amount of time at said gigantic hospital. We weren't supposed to having a child that will likely require multiple heart surgeries to live, yet there we were.

Anger