It's so easy to get caught in the la-la-land that is denial. And sometimes it's not all that bad. It's keeps us going when life gets real tough. Despite moving across the state for now half-a-year, going to the cardiologist once-a-week, and seeing our son's oxygen sats in the 70's every night when we "plug him in"...we still get caught up in his giggles, his peek-a-boo's, his ability to be so normal. We take him out and get compliments from strangers just like the families I looked at longingly before.

Augie refusing his hospital crib after his heart cath procedure.

Then we get those REAL reality checks. We certainly got one last week when Augie's sats dipped after his heart cath. Spending just one night and two days in the hospital brought back a lot of stress and worry. His condition is a reality to us every day; the severity of it is what's easy to forget while he looks and acts so O-K.

We got another reality check this morning when we found out of the passing of Walter's Uncle Fred. He was Walter's only true living uncle. This is a complete and devastating blow to our family. We are heartbroken and in shock. It wasn't but two months ago that Fred drove Walter's Nana to Houston from San Antonio just to see Augie for two hours before heading back to their home in the Panhandle. He took good care of his mother. He was charismatic, generous and true to his character. Fred unapologetically sported his cowboy hat and loud accent everywhere he went. And we absolutely loved him for it. To say he will be missed is an understatement.

Augie getting to meet his precious Nana and Uncle Fred.

The news came at a hard time. Yesterday while we were having a normal day at the aquarium, the surgeons office called to confirm Augie's next surgery. Wednesday, June 7th. Two weeks. I've been saying that we're looking forward to it for months. Now that it's really here, I am absolutely dreading it. I wish we could just run away from all this and it would somehow become untrue. I want to protect his bounciness, his smiles, his laugh (the most precious sound I have ever heard).

Last week in the hospital, I remembered how sick he has to get before he can get better. I remembered the day after his first surgery; how he began to go into cardiac arrest out of nowhere. How doctors had to pump him with air and then pure adrenaline to keep his heart going. How he had to be rushed back for a second surgery. How they had to completely stop his heart and cool him down to buy more time for the extensive operation.

Father-son moment at the aquarium.

I pray this next stay if far less dramatic, but there are no such promises in life. I've learned the hard way not to bargain with God. The reality is CHD has robbed families we've developed connections with of their precious babies...while miracles have happened to others. What I will do is pray for strength for myself and Walter as we face our next big hurdle. I will continue to be thankful for every precious moment we've gotten as a family. I'll remember to be grateful for Augie's resilience and spirit. This kid is amazing.

Reality. It really bites sometimes, but there's no avoiding it. Tonight as our day winds down, I will find peace in knowing Augie has one more precious angel watching over him in Uncle Fred. And he's not the only one. Our family and community have lost several other special people this year. It's been a tough one but we won't crumble. We'll live, we'll hope, we'll love. Life is simply too short not to make it count. Thank you all for reading and for your constant love and support.

One of the funnest nights of my life thanks to Fred (Vegas, 2010).