Doctors. Waiting rooms. Ultrasounds. Paper work. Nurses. Technicians. Receptionists. Elevators. Parking. More doctors. More ultrasounds. All of a sudden, these things became our new normal. I've had to say goodbye to stresses and joys of a typical first pregnancy. I've let go of fearing needle pricks, stress tests and even labor. It's strange how real emotional trauma involving someone you care for so deeply will suddenly toughen you up. I'm not saying I won't freak out when I actually have to deliver the kid, but that's not what keeps me up at night. Instead what consumes my thoughts is his health, his needs. The images I've created in my brain of a sweet little baby connected to wires and tubes for an unforeseen amount of time. The thought of any of his health problems holding him back in life. That is what really frightens me now.
The night before our first visit to Texas Children's, we decided to kill some time in the big city by doing something "normal" like test driving strollers. It was so fun. No really, I'm not being sarcastic. I get watery eyed thinking about how much I enjoyed discussing the features of each stroller, watching Walter practice snapping in the car seat. These are little moments I may have taken for granted had we not received the diagnosis of our baby's heart defect. Now we dream of the day we get to take him for his first spin...hoping it's not too far into the future.
So now that we've met the doctors, do we know how long it will take for our baby to be all better and out of the hospital? Nope. We have no earthly idea. Here is what we do know: Baby is coming and in order to have all of the right people in place, we will have to relocate to Houston by mid November. We know that he will need surgical intervention within the first few days of his birth. We know he will again need a more complicated surgery a few months later. We know that we have sought out the best people in the world to care for our little guy. We know that uprooting our lives and spending so much time away from home is absolutely the best decision we can make right now. We know everything will one day make sense and that all of our hearts will be mended and whole.
Until then, we're attempting to "make lemonade." We're enjoying day to day interactions and typical extracurriculars like heading down to Lubbock to watch the Red Raiders. We're joyfully feeling for kicks and holding each other a little more tightly. That's another positive that's come out of this. I feel closer to my husband having to go through something so emotionally tolling so early in our marriage. We also feel more connected to friends and the community. After my first blog post, the prayers and wishes have been endless. Our church (as well as others in town) has shown us so much love. They even made us this beautiful prayer blanket and we won't head to Houston without it!
Again, thank you for the prayers and love. Please please please keep them coming. Right now we are asking that they be focused on the longevity and health of the pregnancy. Pray baby Spurlock stays in my belly for as long as he wants! Pray for his growth. Pray that we will be safe and protected in the hands of Houston's finest. Pray for baby's speedy healing and recovery. Pray that someday in the not-too-distant future we will be able to come HOME and introduce the little guy to life on the Panhandle!
We never thought we wanted any of this "attention" that is often confused as sympathy. Now that we're receiving it, it feels more like a "We've got your back!" We feel so thankful for the special individuals who spent time praying over the blanket as they assembled each personalized square. It's hard to tell from the photo but the its got tractors, golf, corn, Texas Tech and even "abc's" for the teacher in the house. So so sweet. It's a great example of the type of support we need right now. It's warm, comforting and encouraging. It's also a constant reminder that God comes before us always. We are not alone nor should we be afraid.
This post could really go on and on because a lot has happened since the last time I blogged. The delay is mostly thanks to school. Oh-how's that going? It's going great! Being back in my classroom has been a much needed mental distraction. My students and co-workers still need me, despite what's happening in my personal life. It feels good to focus my energy on them and not dwell on what I can't control 24/7.
Soooo with that, I'll start to wrap this up. I'm working on a new name for this page. Panhandle Princesa was super cute for when I thought it would be all about traveling, food, teaching Spanish, being a "prissy lady" and a farm wife. But obviously, my platform has shifted. Please bear with my misfit of a header for now. More importantly, I will also keep you posted on what we decide on for a BABY NAME! Not there yet...but getting close! Oh one more thing. I'm finally entering the THIRD trimester. Woo hoo!
Again, thank you for the prayers and love. Please please please keep them coming. Right now we are asking that they be focused on the longevity and health of the pregnancy. Pray baby Spurlock stays in my belly for as long as he wants! Pray for his growth. Pray that we will be safe and protected in the hands of Houston's finest. Pray for baby's speedy healing and recovery. Pray that someday in the not-too-distant future we will be able to come HOME and introduce the little guy to life on the Panhandle!
