Our commonalities allow us to bond while I attempt to set a good example to my impressionable pupils. Yet me falling into the older of the tech generations is also why I have such a love-hate relationship with sharing feelings online. In the case of exposing my son Augie's heart story, I do feel that cautiously sharing has done more good than harm. In fact, the times I chosen not to share, have seemed to lead to a lot of misconception and confusion. 

But that's not entirely what this is about. This post is about figuring out, "What is life?" --So what is it? It's doing the best you can. It's telling the truth. It's fighting for those you love the most. I love my students (and co-workers) more than they know. (The nights I sleep for three hours in a row), I have dreams about my classroom, planning the prom, coaching golf. I miss their skepticism, their innocence, their humor. They truly helped me get through my pregnancy. At the time, it was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through.

 I wish I could be two places at once. --A phrase I've used in the past...but I've never meant it as much as I do now. Battling Augie's heart condition has turned out to be more positive than I imagined. However, the experience of coming to Houston and awaiting surgery is taking a lot longer than I anticipated. We've been here for more than five months...almost half a year. It's not what I hoped for, but I still have a son. I have a son that is four months old! That wasn't promised when my husband and I set out on this life-saving adventure. We are forever thankful. Yet I am missing huge milestones; games, tournaments, the prom...and soon...graduation. 

So, back to my question: What is life? For me right now, it's doing what I've been tirelessly doing for the past four months. I need to devote my every waking hour to my precious blessing, Augie. That's why I can't go back to teaching next school year. No one can take better care of my son than I can. In some ways it's a dream come true to be able to stay at home with him yet my eyes are filled with tears. I guess I (and probably everyone) knew it was inevitable. It's not a shocker. Sunray High School needs me, but I'm realizing that the reason this is so hard is because of how much I need it. 

Warning: this paragraph is a little preachy but targeted at younger people that may be reading. Here's one last lesson from Mrs. Spurlock (a Spanish teacher that tends to get off topic). Choosing to have a child comes with huge (and sometimes unknown) responsibilities. My husband and I could've never fully prepared for a baby with CHD, but I'm glad we were equipped to handle it. We were as ready as we could've been. Young people need to consider all possibilities when they make serious choices in their relationships. So while I have professional responsibilities and goals, I now have to accept that my number one priority is and always will be my son.

So when I consider lessons learned from my students...What is life? 

Laughing as often as possible. Never taking any moment too seriously. Appreciating the present but having faith in what the future will bring.